Fifth Time's The Charm
by Camelot-Karamels
Summary: Written for the KaramelHiatus Project Part One: Valentine's Day & Anniversary. The four times Kara has messed up with boys, and the one time she got it right... This is my first time ever publishing anything, so please be nice, but I'd love feedback!
1. Chapter 1

Mon-El and Kara fell gently onto her couch, her arms wrapped around his neck and his around her waist and shoulders. He had done this a million times with other people, but with Kara it felt different and he was nervous for the first time in a long time. Their kissing was urgent and needy, and he moved the hand on her waist up and down her torso, loving the feel of her. But when his hips came down to press against hers, she pulled back a little and broke their kiss.

"What's wrong?" He asked, worrying he had done something he shouldn't have.

But Kara shook her head. "Nothing, it's just… Well, I haven't really done this before."

"Oh," He was not sure if he should be surprised or not. After all, she was a Kryptonian and he'd always heard they were more prudish than Daxamites. But maybe it was an Earth thing too, he had not been here long enough to know it seemed. But everyone at the bar had always been so happy to follow him to the back, and so it didn't really seem like it was that unusual for people on Earth to have sex by their age.

"I mean, I've tried-I just always messed things up somehow, is all. So it never really progressed to… you know, the real thing." She was starting to ramble, Mon-El could see it coming, and he suppressed a smile. Her rambles were something he adored about her.

"That's okay, you don't have to explain, Kara." She looked very relieved at that. But he still had to ask, "Do you want to keep going?" His hips were still lightly pressing on hers and he felt a burning need to continue, but there was no point in moving forward if she was not ready yet.

To Mon-El's relief, she nodded. "Yes, I just might need some… help. Or advice, or whatever. Because I've never really done this and I don't want to-"

"Kara." She went silent at her name. "It's okay, we'll do this together," he assured her.

A great sense of relief seemed to wash over her face at that, and Mon-El could not help but smile down at her. "Just relax, and let me know if anything is too much."

She nodded and their lips met once more. The gentle kiss slowly turned needy again as Mon-El pressed his hips into Kara's, her legs instinctively separating for him to come closer. He had to guide her leg to wrap around his hips though, as she was too hesitant to do it herself. "Don't think, Kara, just do," he mumbled against her lips. She vaguely nodded, and their movements resumed.

* * *

As Mon-El's mouth moved away from her lips and he started pressing kisses to her jaw and then her neck, Kara could not help the little gasp that escaped her lips. Mon-El clearly noticed it, for he stayed at her neck, sucking and licking at it in a way that made her eyes flutter shut and bite down on her bottom lip. "Mon-El," she whispered as her hand suddenly found its way to his back. She wrapped both arms around him, needing him closer. Her hands slipped to the hem of his shirt and began tugging it up so she could feel his skin against hers. Her hips started to rock against his, and her hands were then moving to just under his pants, the feeling of his skin intoxicating as she needed to feel him everywhere.

It wasn't long before she was unbuttoning his blue shirt and pushing it off his shoulders, and then he was slipping her shirt up and off as well. The shirts tossed aside, and the kissing resuming, Kara felt a warmth grow steadily stronger inside of her. The warmth started to burn as she felt his cool chest pressed against hers, and her hands raked up and down his back as he rocked slowly on top of her. His hips were pressing more and more on hers, and she started to think that if the stupid layers between them weren't removed soon, she'd explode.

"Mon-El, please," she whispered, breathless already.

Suddenly she felt the absence of his weight on top of her-felt because her eyes were shut tight with need. Her eyes popped open then, however, and she saw him standing above her with a hand out. "Come on," he said softly, and she placed her hand in his. Slightly confused, but compliant Kara followed Mon-El to her bed. Standing at the side of the bed, Mon-El placed his hands on Kara's hips. She felt his thumbs sink into the elastic waistband of her pants. But he did not move any further until she realized he was waiting for her to respond. So, she went to unbuckle his belt and as she did so, he started to move his hands downward, bringing her pants with him.

In no time at all they were both relieved of their pants and standing facing each other with nothing but their underclothes on. They stood there for a moment, until Kara sneaked a hand behind her back and unclasped her bra, tossing it lightly aside.

* * *

Mon-El was torn between needing to touch her and wanting to stare at her for an unmeasurable time. "Kara," he whispered as he stepped closer, wrapping an arm around her waist. He wanted to say it then, wanted so badly to let the words out, _I love you_ , but he knew it'd break the moment rather than add to it. Kara was not ready for that, that much he could tell. It had taken them weeks just to get to this point. He could wait though, he would wait an eternity for her.

He pulled her in close and pressed his lips to hers. This time she pushed his mouth open, and sucked in his bottom lip. Then he was pushing her backwards onto the bed, and draping himself over her, their hips pressing together once more. But this time it was different, there weren't as many layers between them (though there were still too many, Mon-El thought) and he could feel how warm she was. Quickly, she was parting her legs again and wrapping her legs around his, as their hips rocked blissfully together.

Mon-El moved a hand along the soft skin of her stomach, resting it atop one of her breasts. There he began messaging and squeezing until Kara was arching her back and pressing herself into him. At that point, he replaced his hand with his mouth, and sucked her nipple into his mouth. He grinned when he heard her moan and place two hands on his head, knotting her fingers in his hair.

* * *

Kara was going crazy, and was so glad she did not need to worry so much about her strength with Mon-El. She did not need to keep herself in check with him, she could let herself fall apart in his arms. When he switched from one nipple to the other, she bit down on her bottom lip to keep from crying out too much. Still, she couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips as he flicked his tongue against her nipple in his mouth.

She felt herself losing all control as her hips rocked harder against his, needing to feel him everywhere. Then, thank Rao, he moved back up and was kissing her lips again, and she was turning the kiss wet and urgent as her hips pressed into his, searching and needing to taste every corner of his mouth.

Mon-El moved his hands down her sides dipped one under her thin panties, and she almost yelped in pleasure when she felt his fingers press against her wet and sensitive folds. "Oh, Rao, yes," Kara said before she could catch herself. His hands were moving then and massaging her in a way that made her see stars. And she could not help but moan when he slipped a finger inside of her.

"Kara," Mon-El said, pulling away from her lips ever so slightly. "Tell me what you need."

What she needed? She needed him, all over and everywhere. She needed him now. "You, I need you," Kara breathed as another moan escaped her mouth. _Oh Rao, he knows exactly what to do_ , she thought as another finger slipped inside of her, his thumb still methodically rubbing her clit.

"Where?" He asked.

 _You know where_ , Kara thought. "Inside," she replied, thrusting her hips forward for emphasis. It was time, she knew it and she was pretty sure he did too.

He grinned and kissed her gently before sitting up. She felt at a sad kind of loss when she couldn't feel him pressed against her anymore.

* * *

Mon-El anchored his fingers in her underwear then, and pointedly looked at her, imploring her to give him the okay. When she nodded her head, a slightly wild look in her eye that he'd never seen before, but absolutely loved, he shimmied her underwear off her legs. Before he could get to them himself, he felt Kara's hands on his hips, shoving his boxers down. He let out a laugh at her eagerness-it was so wonderful to see her enthusiastic about this. He'd been daydreaming about this for weeks, and now here they finally were. And thank the gods, she seemed to need it as much as he did now.

He stood up from the bed to quickly remove his boxers completely, and then he was crawling on top of her again. Mon-El felt Kara spread her legs and wrap them around his waist, heels pressing into his lower back. She was clearly ready, but he had to check just once more, because there was no going back after this.

"Are you ready?"

Her arms wrapped around his neck and she brought his lips to hers for a brief and passionate moment. "Yes," was her reply against his lips.

"You're sure? Because I don't know if I can stop if we-"

"Mon-El, please," she begged, pushing her hips into his with clear intent. "I want you-I need you inside of me, right now."

He needed no further incentive. Mon-El stared into her fathomless comet-like eyes as he rubbed his stiff cock against her wet entrance once, twice, and then pushed himself inside of her. She was tight, and he could see her face tense ever so slightly. Her eyes fluttered shut but he kept staring longingly at them. She might be made of steel, but she was still sensitive, Mon-El knew. He didn't move for a few moments, letting her get used to the feel of him inside of her. And he didn't feel the need to move just yet either, the feeling of her all around him making him feel overwhelmed with emotions. _Gods, I love her so much_. He'd never actually done this with someone he loved, and suddenly the phrase _to make love_ finally made sense to him. It was a phrase he'd heard on Earth a couple of times, but he wasn't really sure he understood it right. All these new emotions were so strange and exciting and frustrating. But this, this right here with Kara, this was nothing but bliss.

* * *

It briefly crossed her mind that she hadn't given him a condom at that point. But she didn't care, and it didn't really matter anyway. Once upon a time, Eliza had run some tests and discovered Kara couldn't conceive. It wasn't really a surprise to her, after all, Kryptonians had stopped conceiving naturally so many decades before its destruction. The gene matrix was the only real way to have a child on Krypton, and Kara knew Daxam had used a similar system. So realistically, neither of them were likely to be able to have children. But she'd never really had the same need to have children that Alex had always possessed. So really, a condom wasn't paramount for them. And thank Rao, because she was sure this would feel quite different with one.

It wasn't painful necessarily, not like she had imagined anyway. It was more like a strange pressure and a sense of fullness that she was not used to, but she could not rightfully say she disliked it either. It just felt.. strange. After a few moments though, the feeling of discomfort started to subside.

Opening her eyes again and seeing him staring down at her, his eyes burning into hers, all the discomfort went away and suddenly all she could think of was, _He's all I need_. Kara wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her so their lips could meet once more. It was a gentle and sweet kiss, not as urgent or needy as the other times they'd kissed. Their lips dancing against each other as Mon-El slowly began to pull out slightly and then push himself further inside of her. She was starting to see stars again as her heels pressed into his back, helping to push him in deeper.

And then they were rocking harder and faster, and he was moaning into her mouth as her breath grew ragged against his. She was so close to slipping over the edge, and it seemed like he was too.

* * *

"Kara, wait for me," Mon-El managed to say. He surprised himself with those words, as he'd never felt the need to climax with anyone else before. But he wanted to do everything with Kara. He wanted to help her keep the world spinning, he wanted to walk into the DEO with her, he wanted to hold her in his arms and feel her break over the edge with him.

He pulled back to look into her face then, and saw her eyes shut tight as she bit her bottom lip again. "Kara," he whispered, brushing a hand against her soft cheek. "Kara, look at me, please." He needed to see those eyes, those beautiful comets that held so much warmth in them.

Kara's eyes popped open and she stared right back at him, their eyes boring into each other. Mon-El couldn't say it aloud yet, but he willed her to see it in his eyes. This wasn't just sex for him, this was everything. And then a small smile was growing on her lips, and he was thrusting into her deeper and deeper and she was looking at him with such need and he found he couldn't take it anymore. He was falling apart and he realized she was coming apart beneath him too. And then he thrust one, two, three times and buried himself deep inside her as he let go and fell to pieces.

* * *

She hadn't needed much coaching after all, it appeared. Kara assumed it was because she knew she didn't have to hold back as much; she could let herself go with Mon-El. She could be Kara Zor-El with him, not just Kara Danvers the human or Supergirl the superhero. Rather, she could be her own true and complete self, and she loved the realization of it.

Neither of them moved for a moment, and then Mon-El slid out and off of her, lying next to her on the bed. Kara now felt strange without him inside of her, she felt oddly empty. But then he was pulling the sheets up and over them, and wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her backwards so he was pressed up against her back, and their legs tangled together. Kara hummed in pleasure, and could feel sleep pulling at the edges of her consciousness.

"Mon-El?" she said suddenly.

"Hm?" he murmured as he snuggled closer to her under the covers.

"Thank you," she whispered, letting her feelings wash over her and show in her voice.

"For what?" Mon-El asked, amusement clear in his tone.

She hesitated for a moment. What was she thanking him for exactly? For letting her get here on her own time. For not giving up on her. For being so charismatically infuriating that she couldn't help but like him. For understanding her, and letting her be herself completely. For being there for her. "Everything," she said, and pressed back into him, placing her hands over his and wrapping them more securely around her middle. And then she let sleep takeover and she drifted off to blissful dreams.

* * *

Mon-El kissed her hair and listened for a little while as her breath grew more steady as sleep overcame her. When he was sure she was asleep, he could not help but whisper, "I love you, Kara Zor-El." If only he could spend forever with her like this, he would never ask for anything else again, he thought. And then he was drifting off to sleep with her.


	2. Chapter 2

Kara woke up that morning, but kept her eyes shut as she blindly searched for Mon-El in the sheets. But then her eyes popped open, remembering. She hadn't forgotten or had that dream in weeks now, but with it being Valentine's Day and her heartache growing every day as she continued to see the new Mon-El, her heart could not help but ache. She was lonely, that was the bottom line. And she missed arguing with Mon-El about sleeping in and curling up close to him in the sheets, feeling the warmth of his body pressed against her own.

She missed it all.

But it was no more, and it never would be again, she had to get used to this new reality. She was not meant to be in a relationship, she was meant to be Supergirl. She could not have it all like her cousin, like Clark. He managed somehow, but she knew it just was not in the cards for her. Kara recognized that now. And she had to accept it as is.

Dreaming about the first night they had been together again, brought up so many emotions. She had been so relieved back then to find someone strong enough to handle her own strength. Kara's experience with love had been limited and complicated until Mon-El came along. She'd never actually slept with anyone before him, but not for lack of trying.

The first time she'd tried, she was only 20 and had started dating someone from one of her classes. But as they moved to the bed, she'd moved a little too fast, and had not kept her strength in check and… well, she broke the guy's nose. There was a lot of blood, she remembered. And a lot of cursing. The next day in class, he'd sat on the opposite side of the classroom from her. He ignored all her calls, and Kara was left feeling horribly guilty and slightly heartbroken.

The second time, she was pressed up against a wall, and the guy had moved to take off her shirt, but she'd again lost control of her strength and when she raised her arms and he had moved closer to her… well, there was more blood and another broken nose.

The third time she almost made it. But he had started kissing her neck and moving lower down, reaching her breasts. His attention to her nipples made her arch her back and… well that made three broken noses.

After the fourth time she started to think she should really just stop trying. All it did was break noses. The fourth time had been the worst, too. They had started making out on his bed, but she stopped when she could feel herself losing control of her strength and senses. "What's wrong?" he had asked. She had just said they should take it slower. He had been so sweet and kind, and agreed, saying they could just lay together for the night. And they did just that. Kara remembered the great feeling of having someone she cared about hold her close, all night long. But sometime in the night she had fallen asleep and eventually turned in her sleep. Unfortunately for Bradley, her hand had bumped against his face when she had shifted, and he yelped in pain. Kara had awoken with a jolt, and instantly felt guilty as she saw him clutching his nose that was bleeding-just like all the others.

But the fifth time, had been the charm it seemed. The fifth time she had had such a blissful night with Mon-El, the thought of it made her body tingle again. But those days were done. And unless she came across another Kryptonian or superhuman, she would not be having any kind of love life again. And the chances of her meeting someone like that again, were very small indeed.

With a sigh, Kara flipped onto her back and stared up at her ceiling. She contemplated staying in today. The thought of going out and seeing all the roses and kisses and signs of affection made her heart break. But, she had to face the music some time. She was single. And yes, a year ago today she had thought everything in her life was whole and complete and perfect, but those days were gone for good. There was no point in putting it off. She shoved herself off the bed and moved to get dressed.

* * *

"Hi, Kara," said the sickeningly sweet voice when she landed at the DEO. Imra was a very nice person, but Kara still had a hard time being around her. It was getting easier in some ways, but in others it was getting harder. Going to Fort Rozz with Imra, and her general interest in helping them made Kara appreciate Imra for the kind person she was. Still, the maturity that Mon-El seemed to have gained in his seven years away, made Kara love him all the more. He was now the man she had always known he could become, the man she had seen inside of him before. And it was a complicated mess of emotions.

"Hi, Imra, Mon-El," Kara said as she nodded to both of them on her way down the platform. Imra and Mon-El had been standing by the platform, discussing something in low tones. It vaguely seemed like an argument to Kara, but it was none of her business. "Any major disasters happening yet?" she asked as she approached the control room where Winn, Alex and J'onn were already gathered.

"Not yet, no. But the day is still young," J'onn said, looking through something on his tablet.

"Maybe everyone is taking a break for the holiday," Winn said.

"Oh, right, it's Valentine's Day, isn't it?" Imra asked.

"Yeah," Mon-El quietly answered. Kara saw him glance at her but he immediately looked back down at his hands when their eyes met. "It's not really celebrated anymore in the future. But it's a pretty popular thing to celebrate right now. There's a different, but similar holiday that comes about later on."

Kara had wondered if he had remembered what day it was. What day it should be. From the glance he gave her, she knew he remembered. She wondered though if he cared. Kara continually argued with herself about how much Mon-El still cared for her. It was clear that he still respected her and cared-he'd told her so several times even-but did he still love her, she wondered. Sometimes it would seem he did, but other times it seemed clear to her that he did not.

"Yeah, I don't know, today might be kind of calm. I think we can handle it, Kara, if you want to go back to CatCo," Alex said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah, we'll let you know if Mxy comes back to say hi," Winn said with a grin.

Kara forced a smile. She really did not want to think about last Valentine's Day. Today would have been- _should_ have been-her and Mon-El's first year anniversary. But instead she was going to spend it alone. "Okay," Kara said as she headed back out to the platform.

* * *

Later that day, Kara was sitting at her desk trying hard to write the piece Snapper had assigned her, when her phone buzzed beside her. She flipped it over to check it, and saw it was a message from Alex.

 _Drinks at the bar tonight? We can drown our sorrows together._

Kara smirked. Alex knew just what to say sometimes.

 _Sure, see you at six._ Kara replied before putting her phone down and returning to her writing.

It was a long day at work from then on. She took most of the day to write her piece, fighting writer's block all day long. When she finally handed it in to Snapper, he'd given it a glance and then tossed it back telling her to correct her run-ons and make it shorter.

Finally, when the time came to go home, she packed her back and slung it over her shoulder. That was when she realized the DEO had never called her in. She had spent an entire day at CatCo. Kara could not even remember the last time she had done that… Clearly, Alex and J'onn had decided to give her the day off from superhero-ing, because there definitely had not been a whole day without some kind of alien trouble in the city. There never was, not in this city anyway.

Kara flew back to her flat and decided to take a nap before meeting Alex at the bar. She had an hour, so she'd have time. Not bothering to change, she slipped out of her shoes and crawled into her lonely bed. Curling up under the covers, she started to relax into her pillow and sheets. But before she could drift off, there was a small knock on her door.

Forcing herself to stand up, Kara moved towards her door. Through the wood she could see… But why? Something must be wrong. She moved a little faster to open the door, "Mon-El?" Kara asked as she swung the door open.

"Hey, Kara," was his response. There was a moment of hesitation before he continued, "Do you mind if I come in for a minute?"

"Of course," Kara said, and stepped aside to let him in. He walked in and headed straight for the window on the opposite side of the room. He paused, taking a deep breath and then turned back to Kara.

"I haven't been completely honest with you," Mon-El began.


	3. Chapter 3

"I always knew there was a risk when Brainy and I planned this mission," Imra said.

"What mission?" Mon-El asked, confused by Imra's train of thought.

"It's time for me to tell you the truth about why we're really here," Imra begun.

When she'd finished her explanation, Mon-El simply stood there in utter shock. Had they really lied this much to them? And for so long? Of course he could see their reasoning, but that did not justify what they had apparently done to him.

"So, to clarify. You're telling me that you could track the wormholes and where they'd open up, but you never told me. At first because you didn't trust me, and then because you didn't want me to leave. Until you realized _The Legion_ needed to attempt time travel because you found some historical evidence of our involvement with the Worldkillers, and figured it meant we went back in time to help. Did I miss anything?" Mon-El could feel the frustration rising and the anger seeping into his voice. He wanted to stay calm, because this was his team and he cared about it and them. But he also could not believe that they would keep such things from him. He had trusted them with so much.

Imra let out a small sigh. "Yes, actually. You're forgetting who we were when we first met. We were no heroes back then. You were, and you showed us how to be," Imra told him. Mon-El remembered, he remembered how mistrustful they all were of him. How he had had to start all over again to gain trust, like he did with the DEO and Kara when he had first landed on Earth. He remembered having to show them what it meant to be a hero, the same way Kara had for him.

"That does not justify continuing to lie to me after we got to know one another," Mon-El reminded her. "After we got _married_. I told you so much, you knew how badly I wanted a way to come back here, and yet you never told me."

Imra took a small step forward and opened her mouth to say something more, but Mon-El raised a hand to stop her. "No, I-I can't do this right now," he said and walked away before he said something rash. He may have been able to control of his emotions now, and had gotten used to all the feelings he once was so confused about, but he still lost his temper at times. He recognized when he needed to walk away from a situation though, and that was exactly what he needed to do now.

* * *

"Mon-El," Imra said, walking into the training room a few days after she'd confessed her lies. He was training and really did not want to talk about it, but figured they needed to sooner or later.

"What?" Mon-El asked, trying to reign in the frustration in his tone. He still could barely look at her without feeling annoyed and hurt.

"I need to know if you're going to tell the DEO or Kara about our mission."

He shook his head, disbelieving. "No, I won't," he told her. But the relief on her face made him add, "Yet." She opened her mouth to say something, but Mon-El cut her off. "Look, I know you think what you did was necessary, and I know our coming here could change a lot of things -good or bad- if we're not careful. But I also know that I have a right to be angry and distant while I try to cope with the fact that my team lied to me for so long, and about something so huge."

"Mon-El, please-"

"Imra, I've thought about it a lot and I've come to the conclusion that I won't be going back with you all when you return to your time." The words came out before he could catch himself. The idea had been in his head, true, but he hadn't really made up his mind. But after saying it, he figured it really was the right choice. There was no way Mon-El could go back and work with a group of people who had lied to him for so long. "I will help you while you're here, and I'll do whatever I can to takedown the Worldkillers. But I believe The Legion is better off without me after that," Mon-El concluded.

"I understand that you're angry, but we can't just leave you behind," Imra said.

Mon-El shook his head again, and waved a hand dismissively. "I'm done talking about this." He turned and walked out of the room then, knowing full well she would not leave herself. His training was done for the day, it seemed.

* * *

Several more days later and Imra was still appearing at inconvenient times, trying to convince him to come back with them. But the more she implored him to concede, the more determined he became to stay. He tried to explain to her that their relationship, both professional and personal, would never truly work again. She had broken his trust in an unimaginable way, and there was no getting around it.

At first, Mon-El had thought about Kara and her ability to forgive him for concealing his past from her. But as much as he tried to convince himself that he could get over this, that he could learn to trust them again as Kara had, he knew it was ultimately useless. He'd always be questioning what other major thing they might be keeping from him.

He argued with himself that his lies to Kara had not truly affected anyone, it had only altered Kara's first impressions of him honestly. However, Imra's lies had changed and affected the last seven years of Mon-El's life. And the last seven months of Kara's. Imra had let Kara and Mon-El suffer in pain, when she had had the cure all along.

He tried to ask himself what Kara would do, as he often did when he couldn't decide what the right thing to do was. Could Kara forgive Imra for what she's done? Probably, that woman had the biggest heart Mon-El had ever known. Kara would probably argue that Mon-El was married to Imra, and that meant they should try to work such things out. Plus, the treaty that was sealed by their marriage added a further complication. Would that treaty be dissolved if he did not go back with Imra? He hoped not. Because realistically speaking, he did not think he could spend the rest of his days beside Imra, knowing he could have been here with Kara -and that Imra had deliberately prevented that for so long.

Sure, he cared for Imra. And Mon-El knew that Imra cared for him, she'd always cared for him more deeply than he ever had for her. He respected her and thought of her as a companion, and so he had grown to love her. But realistically speaking, their love was nothing compared to what he felt for Kara. And with this new knowledge, Mon-El seriously doubted how well he could get along with Imra anymore. They could work together when necessary, of course. But being a couple? No, breaking it off with Imra and resigning from The Legion was the only way to move forward.

He'd been wondering how hard it would be to leave Kara for a second time, ever since Imra had woken up from cryosleep. Mon-El figured it would break him again, but it would be okay because he would still have Imra. And he would still have The Legion, and the comfort of those relationships would help him get through leaving Kara again. But to leave, with those other relationships broken? No. No, that was asking the impossible of him.

Besides, ever since he had told Imra he would stay, he had felt so much better. Mon-El was starting to feel hope again. It was a feeling he had not truly felt in years. He had survived off of determination and his resolve to live up to Kara's expectations for so long. She had taught him to hope, but he had stopped feeling hopeful when he had accepted there was no way back to her. Now there was, though.

 _Gods, I still love her so much_ , Mon-El thought. Closing his eyes, he could almost feel her touch his cheek and kiss his forehead, as she had when he'd first woken up. The thought made him long all the more to stay here in the 21st century. This was where he wanted to be, this was where he had longed to be for seven years.

But then there were other obstacles to overcome, if he was staying. He would have to talk to J'onn of course, find out if he could resume working for the DEO and if he could get his old bunk back. Then there was the matter of income. What kind of job would he be able to get? Sure, he could probably get his position back at the bar, but that job seemed like such a joke to him now. It had been fun before, but he was older and more experienced now, and being a "mixologist" again did not seem very fitting. Maybe J'onn could help him find something. Or Winn, he might be able to help too.

Finally, there was Kara. How she would react to all this, Mon-El was unsure. She'd been through a lot this year, and he could not cause her anymore pain. Would his staying do that? Or could it possibly heal her, as Mon-El knew it would fix the wounds inside his own heart that had never really healed from seven years ago. He supposed there was only one way to find out. He would have to talk to her.

But first, he needed to speak to J'onn. He needed to figure out the logistics of staying here, and then he could present his case to Kara. He only hoped she would understand and be happy to have him stay.

* * *

Mon-El knew J'onn was the first person he needed to talk this over with, even though every fiber of his being wanted to talk to Kara. Patience, he had to have patience. If he did not play this right, he could lose everything.

"Alright everyone, so this is what we know so far," J'onn began as he presented the newest problem assigned to Supergirl. They were all gathered around in the main control room at the DEO. Another alien that was causing harm to innocent people, needed stopping. But it all seemed relatively basic, and he figured he and Kara could take care of it in no time.

However, as much as Mon-El wanted to offer his help and fight alongside Kara, he knew he needed to settle other matters first. Besides, he knew full well that Kara did not necessarily _need_ his help, she was more than capable of facing all sorts of enemies on her own. So, he stayed quiet throughout J'onn's speech and his inevitable debate with Kara on how to handle it.

When all matters were finally settled, Kara turned and headed for the platform to go face the alien. Mon-El tried not to think too much about where Kara was going, because in reality he still got nervous every time he knew she was fighting someone or something. He thought that after seven years away, that desperate need to protect Kara whenever he could, would have dissipated. After all, he had not really felt so worried when Imra and he had faced their enemies. Clearly his need to help and fight alongside Kara had only been suppressed during his time away from her, because it was just as strong (if not stronger) than it had been before he had climbed into that cursed pod.

Coming back to the present, Mon-El turned to J'onn as everyone else started to disperse and attend to their own assignments. "J'onn, can I talk to you for a minute?" Mon-El asked.

The martian nodded, that same stern and slightly disapproving look on his face. It was a face Mon-El had missed.

They walked into one of the empty conference rooms and Mon-El breathed deeply before beginning. He could only hope this would all work out right. "J'onn, I would like your help, but I have to first ask that this stay between us, for a variety of reasons," Mon-El began.

"As long as it does not interfere or endanger the operations of the DEO, I can keep secrets very well," was the reply.

"Of course, I completely understand putting your team first." Mon-El had had to do the same in the past, but now it was time to think about himself just a little. Or maybe a lot. "I was wondering if you would consider reinstating me as an agent of the DEO? And with that, if I might have a bunk here, at least until I can find something else."

A look of both confusion and concern crossed J'onn's face. "But what about your own ship? Are you and The Legion planning on sticking around here for good, now? Because I was under the impression you all were trying to get back to your own time," J'onn said.

"Their time, not mine," Mon-El said, surprising even himself with the amount of bitterness in his tone. Clearly he was more bitter about all of this than he was willing to admit to himself. But he had a right to be.

J'onn's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, clearly trying to read Mon-El's face and emotions since he could not read his mind. Mon-El had become very adept to the ways telepaths used their powers. Imra could sense other people's emotions as well as thoughts, and he'd watched her use her powers many times. She had also trained him on how to keep his thoughts and emotions hidden from anyone who could possibly read a Daxamite's mind. But Mon-El had no need to keep his emotions hidden, not from J'onn.

"And yes," Mon-El continued. "But I am planning on leaving The Legion very soon," he confessed, hoping J'onn would not ask too many more questions. He understood the martian's need for answers, but Mon-El really wanted to keep as much of this to himself as he could, for now at least.

"Why would you do that?"

With reluctance, Mon-El explained, "I have recently discovered some things about my team that make it impossible for me to stay with them when they decide to return to the future. I swear, it is nothing that could endanger you or the DEO, but recent events have led me to lose my personal relationship with The Legion." Mon-El could not truthfully say it was something that did not harm Kara, because in reality it was.

J'onn's face had gradually become more clouded and concerned. Finally he raised a hand and said, "Mon-El, tell me exactly what is going on, and then I can see if I can help you."

It was not that he didn't want to tell J'onn, it was just that he did not want J'onn to be the first to know. He thought Kara should know first. He felt Kara had the right to know, because this was about them more than anyone else. But he also knew he could not go to Kara just yet. He had to get his own affairs in order, so she could see that he had made up his mind and wouldn't be able to talk him out of it.

"It's about time travel, and that's all I can truly say. Please don't ask me any more on the topic, I'll explain everything when I can," Mon-El begged J'onn to understand, imploring him to see the honesty in his face and eyes.

"I would assume this has something to do with Imra and Kara, then?" J'onn asked, sitting down in one of the conference chairs and leaning backwards. When Mon-El made no response J'onn continued, "I will take your silence as confirmation, I suppose." After a moment of thought, J'onn asked, "So then, you want to come back to the DEO." It wasn't really a question, but it still seemed to question Mon-El's resolve.

"Yes, and for good this time," Mon-El said, sitting down across from J'onn. "I don't plan on leaving again any time soon, or ever." It felt so good to say that finally, to truly proclaim his resolve to stay here. Telling Imra had been more of an outburst, if he was being honest. Now he had thought carefully about it, and now he was declaring it, not just saying it.

"Well, we can always use another good hero. You'd be more than welcome to return to the DEO. Your cot hasn't been reassigned, so you could certainly have that again. But I would need to know that you'll eventually have independent living arrangements. The DEO is no true home, I can tell you that," J'onn told him, a stern -yet somehow kind- look on his face.

"Of course, of course," Mon-El responded. One last thing to ask then, "I was also wondering if you might be able to help me find a day job of sorts. I don't really think a dive bar is the place for me anymore," Mon-El confessed.

At that J'onn let out a brief laugh. "No, no I don't think it is either," he said. And with a look of fondness and (if Mon-El wasn't mistaken) respect, added, "You've clearly grown a lot in your time away."

"Yeah, I suppose seven years will do that to a person," Mon-El said, smiling along with J'onn. "So, do you think you could help me find a job?"

J'onn shrugged. "I don't see why not. We might even be able to use you here, actually."

"Really? That would be great, thank you so much, J'onn," Mon-El said, ecstatic that he had worked out his logistical plans of staying so easily. He stood, and J'onn followed suit before they shook hands and J'onn gave Mon-El a light and affectionate slap on the shoulder.

"I'm assuming you'll be talking to Kara yourself about all of this?"

Mon-El nodded. "Yes, I plan on talking to her very soon."


	4. Chapter 4

"I haven't been completely honest with you," Mon-El began, looking at Kara and trying very hard to read all the emotions on her face. "And I want to explain everything to you. Will you let me do that?" He could almost see Kara's walls starting to come up, those walls were her main line of defense whenever a subject got too personal for her. Mon-El knew those walls all too well.

"You don't have to explain anything," Kara said waving a hand, as if trying to push the conversation away.

"Actually I do."

A wave of uncertainty crossed her face, and Mon-El could only imagine what was running through her head. After a moment's pause, Kara nodded cautiously, crossed her arms defensively, and sat in one of her tall kitchen chairs.

Mon-El took several steps towards her, so they were only parted by a few feet rather than the entire room. He needed her to see his face clearly, and he needed to see hers when he said this. Taking a deep breath, he began his story. "When I first landed in the future, Imra and some of the other members of The Legion were the first ones to help me. They were hesitant to trust me of course, the same way you all were when I first landed here. And with the war that was beginning between Titan and its allies, and Earth and its allies, I could hardly blame them. But eventually we became friends, we got to know and trust each other. But I was still doing everything I could to find a way back to you. Or at least some way to tell you I was okay. We formed The Legion, they said they would help me, but ultimately we could not find anything. And eventually they convinced me that I'd never find my way back. And that's when I married Imra.

"But I didn't marry Imra because I stopped loving you." The words were flowing freely now, but he started to pace nervously in front of Kara even so. The next bit was going to be tricky to explain without hurting her. "She was from a prominent family on Titan, and we were married to show the people that The Legion was there to protect everyone - not just the people of Earth. We united the planets with our marriage, essentially. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do - I still think that - but I had to shut a part of myself off in order to move forward. Imra and I were friends, but I was still grieving over having lost you and everyone else here. So in order to make our marriage work, I stopped hoping to see you again, I stopped acknowledging certain feelings because if I didn't, I wouldn't survive."

Mon-El stopped pacing then, and turned to face Kara. "But I never loved her like I love you. And ever since I've been back here, those old feelings of hope and love and happiness that you showed me, have been coming back. And I'm honestly so tired of fighting them."

* * *

Kara had listened to his speech, had heard every word. But her face was frozen with a stoic expression, because she was trying very hard to not let his words reach her heart. Alex had been telling her to be human, that it was okay to feel hurt, but right now Kara could not risk feeling anything. If she let herself feel too much around Mon-El, alone in her apartment, she did not know what she would do. Probably something she shouldn't. And it hurt just seeing him in here, a place where they had shared so many happy memories. Then having him confess that his marriage wasn't what it seemed... It was too much. So she was shutting her own feelings down.

"Kara?" Mon-El said, stepping closer to her.

She raised a hand to stop him, and took a step backwards herself. "You're still married," was all she could manage, her voice sounding strained and tense to her own ears.

Mon-El sighed. "That's the other thing I have to tell you."

Kara was intrigued - how could she not be - but she still did her best to not let hope sneak into her heart. Not yet, anyway. Not on this subject. Because hoping for Mon-El to be hers again and then being disappointed would not be okay. If that happened a second time, she thought she might never stand up again. And the world needed Supergirl too much for that.

"She lied to me," Mon-El said. "She and all the other members of The Legion. They were the ones who convinced me to stop looking for a way back to you, and they convinced me that there was no sure way to travel back through time. But I recently found out that they planned this mission, they knew how to track and use the wormholes for time travel." Kara could hear the frustration rising in Mon-El's voice, but he was clearly working to control it. "They knew how to travel back in time, but they never told me, Kara."

That was not something Kara had expected to hear. And now that she had, she was surprised by the amount of rage that was suddenly boiling inside of her - mirroring the anger written on Mon-El's face. She'd tried to stay emotionally distant, but hearing that all the pain she - and clearly Mon-El too - had been feeling for the last eight months could have been remedied long ago, made her more angry than she could comprehend.

"Why would they do that?" Kara asked, working hard to control her temper and her tone.

Mon-El shook his head, shrugging and running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Because they didn't trust me, and then because they thought it was better for me to stay in the future," he said, the sound of disbelief clear in his voice. Kara couldn't blame him, for he had spent seven _years_ being oblivious to this lie. His anger seemed to be dissipating, however, and he was becoming calm again. Kara was still confused and frustrated, though.

"Why did they come back now?" she asked.

Mon-El hesitated, clearly debating how much he should say.

"If you'll alter the timeline by telling me, I don't need to know," Kara assured him. She still desperately wanted to know, but she knew better than to try and mess with time travel. She'd learned that much from Barry. If it was something crucial, Mon-El would tell her, she had to believe that much. Taking a moment to think and calm herself, Kara walked past Mon-El and sat down on her couch. When she felt she had control of her feelings again, Kara asked, "So now what?" She was looking at her coffee table still, because she didn't trust her feelings just now if she were to look back at him.

She heard Mon-El sigh again, before crossing in front of her, tossing his arms up in a shrug and letting them fall into his lap as he sat down on the couch beside her. Kara worked very hard not to think about how many times they had sat like this in the past. Or about how much she had missed sitting on the couch with him, cuddling up and watching endless amounts of TV.

"Well, I have already talked to J'onn, and he said I can come back to the DEO. He and Winn both agreed to help me find a new job, and I can stay at the DEO until I find my own place," Mon-El said, he was looking at the coffee table too.

Kara could feel her heart start to race, and as much as she tried she could not stop the hope that was taking root. Her mind and her heart were warring inside of her now, trying to decide if it was a good thing for Mon-El to stay or not. What would him staying mean for the future? What if the future needed him more? She did not want to be the reason for Mon-El to lose everyone he had become friends with in his last seven years. But then again, did they really deserve him? How good of friends could they be if they had lied like this to him? They had watched him suffer for so long and they had never offered the remedy they possessed, which he so desired. She wanted him to stay, but she was uncertain if it was the right choice for him. She started to bite her cheek as she thought.

* * *

"Kara?" Mon-El asked, attempting to pull her out of her revere. He moved to touch her shoulder, but she flinched away ever so slightly, and he pulled his hand back as if it had been burnt. Was she afraid of or angry at him now? Maybe she did not want him to stay anymore. If that were true, should he return to the future? No, he knew his need to stay was bigger than them. This was not just about Kara, this was about himself too, and he was better here, in National City, in the 21st century.

He watched Kara take a slow and unsteady deep breath. When she still said nothing, he finally asked, "Do you not want me to stay?" He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer but-

"Of course, I do," was her instant response though. She turned slowly towards him then, shifting her position on the couch but keeping her eyes low until she said, "But Mon-El, I cannot be the reason you break your marriage with Imra. You made a promise to her, and apparently to a lot other people when you married her. I don't want to interfere with that. And I cannot be the reason you leave The Legion or the life you made in the future."

Mon-El nodded, understanding where she was coming from. He shifted to face her as well, and put an arm on the back of the couch. It was strange how comfortable he felt on this couch with her, even though it had been so long since they'd last been here. Then he explained, "While it's true I can't bare the thought of leaving you again, I am not just staying because I've missed you with every fiber of my being. I'm staying because it's the right decision. I'm staying because I can't trust The Legion anymore, and I don't think I'll ever be able to. I wish them no ill-will, and I think they still can do a lot of good in this world, but I can't stand by them anymore. I _belong_ _here_ , Kara."

Something seemed to pass over Kara's face then. "Have you told everyone?"

"I've told Imra I'm staying, and that it's over. And J'onn and Winn know a bit, but I wanted to talk to you about it all first," Mon-El said.

Kara nodded slowly, clearly still hesitant to feel much. Her walls were still up, but he could see that she was close to bringing them down again. She looked down as she asked, "And what exactly does this mean for us?" She looked back up at him, a troubled but pleading expression written on her face.

A smile tugged at the corners of Mon-El's mouth. "It means whatever you want it to mean, Kara. I love you now, just as much as the day I got into that pod," Mon-El confessed, and she smiled ever so slightly before looking down at her hands. He had no idea how relieved he would feel after finally saying that aloud again, but he suddenly felt a huge weight lifted from his shoulders. He'd been fighting his feelings for her, for Imra's sake ever since he had woken up. But now he wasn't fighting to suppress his emotions, and it felt wonderful. "If your feelings and wishes are still what they were last spring…" He tried to think of a way to finish that sentence, but changed his mind and said, "My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever."

At that, Kara met his gaze as she bit the inside of her cheek and pursed her lips, fighting a smile. "Did you just quote Jane Austen?"

He shrugged, a smile spreading across his face. "Maybe."

* * *

Kara suppressed a laugh, and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. Of course Mon-El could quote Jane Austen, and of course he would try to bring some humor into this conversation. "Mon-El, we have to be serious about this," Kara said.

"I am perfectly serious, Kara."

She looked back at him, and her breath caught in her throat. His eyes were filled with such affection again, and she found it hard to breath suddenly. Then he was taking her hand in his and he seemed about to say something but she blurted out, "I love you. I'll always love you, and I'm pretty sure I would be content to spend an eternity by your side."

A grin lit up Mon-El's face. Oh Rao, she had missed that glowing face so much.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked.

Kara pressed her lips together to fight against that stupid dopey grin spreading across her face, and shrugged her shoulders coyly.

Mon-El laughed lightly, before he leaned forward, and she leaned in to meet him halfway. When their lips first touched, Kara thought she might burst into flames, she'd longed for this for so long. With his lips on hers, all other worries seemed to fade into the darkness. It didn't take much time for their light kiss to turn into something deeper and more urgent though. They had been apart for so long, neither one of them seemed to want to let the other go for even a second.

* * *

Mon-El pulled Kara closer to him on the couch, needing to have her against him as he wrapped his arms around her. He could feel the heat rising inside, but it was coming from a place he thought was dead. He hadn't felt this alive in years, and he loved it. But when his hands started to move to the hem of Kara's shirt, she pulled ever so slightly away. He felt abandoned without her lips on his.

"Mon-El, maybe we should take this slower?" Kara asked, slightly breathless from their kiss. Her hands were still around his neck though, and she was still sitting very close to him. "There's still a lot to figure out."

Her words cut through his heart just a little, because all he wanted to do was be with her - completely and forever. But he also knew she was right, this was a complicated situation and they were different people now. They should take the time to figure all the details out first, before they jumped head first into this. "Of course," he told her, and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. Then he leaned back on the couch, and pulled her closer to him, so she was almost sitting in his lap. She leaned her head against his chest, and he kissed the top of her head. "Can we just stay like this for a while longer though?"

Kara nodded against his chest, and moved one of her hands to draw little circles on his shirt. "I'm not opposed to you waking up with me, either," she confessed. "But we probably should hold off on, you know, other activities," she said nervously. After all this time, she was still insecure when it came to talking about sex, and Mon-El still found it enormously endearing.

"I would wait an eternity for you," he said, and felt her smile against him. "And I would love nothing more than to wake up with you, Kara Danvers." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she curled up closer to him as he wrapped his arms more securely around her.

They stayed like that on the couch, neither one speaking for some time. And then Kara's phone buzzed and she sat straight up. "Alex!" she yelped, dashing over to grab her phone off her nightstand. Mon-El slowly stood, and followed her, curious as to what was happening.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

Kara smiled at him and waved a hand, "Yeah, I just forgot that I was supposed to meet Alex at the bar tonight."

Nodding, Mon-El said, "I understand. You should go, I'll get out of your hair." He turned to leave then.

Kara moved in front of him so fast, Mon-El almost fell backwards in surprise. "Sorry!" she said, her shoulders scrunching up as guilt washed over her face when he stumbled backwards. "I just - you can't go, not yet. Please stay?" Kara said urgently, a desperate look in her eye.

Mon-El smiled, raising a hand and tucking her hair behind an ear. "I can be here when you get back, if you want. But I don't want to get in the way of your life, okay?"

Kara smiled softly back at him, and then raised her own hand to brush against his cheek before kissing him. "You are my life," she said simply, pulling away just a little.

The amount of warmth that was spreading through Mon-El was starting to become overwhelming, and he could feel the tears rising. There were so many emotions running through him, and he wasn't used to it anymore. Not these emotions, anyway. He wrapped his arms around her and said, "I love you, Kara Zor-El."

"I love you too," she replied. Then she stepped back out of his arms and turned to her phone, "Now let me just tell Alex I have to reschedule, really quick."

He couldn't help but glance at what she wrote, and he smiled to himself when he did.

 _So so sorry! I have to cancel. Everything's fine though, more than fine. I'll explain tomorrow. I love you, and will make it up to you, I promise. I'll talk to you first thing tomorrow! Promise! 3_

"Okay, then," Kara said, turning her phone off and setting it back down on the nightstand. "I'm going to get into pj's really quick, if you don't mind?"

Mon-El shook his head, and she dashed into her bathroom and dashed back out in sweats and an old shirt in seconds. He laughed, loving how happy she seemed. She crawled into her bed and lifted the covers, inviting him in.

He shucked off his shoes and jeans before crawling in next to her. He pulled her in close, and breathed in the sent of her. He missed all of this, every detail, every moment, every touch, and every little thing about being with Kara. Maybe he was still that selfish Daxamite underneath it all, but he refused to return to the future. He refused to leave Kara's side ever again. Because this, this right here with her was _home_.

"Happy anniversary," he whispered.

Kara's face lit up with such a beautiful smile, it almost broke his heart. "Happy anniversary," she said.

Mon-El laughed lightly and moved a hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "It seems fitting that we should be starting again today, I guess."

Kara's smile softened and turned almost sad. "I've missed you," she said. The words were simple, but they held so much weight in them. Mon-El knew all too well the pain Kara had felt in the last eight months. He wished so badly he could wipe all her pain away.

"I've missed you too," he said. "I won't ever leave you again, Kara." He kissed her, as if to seal his promise. Then he pressed his forehead to hers, wrapped his arms tightly around her, and closed his eyes.

* * *

Kara curled up against him, his arms wrapped securely around her. Their foreheads were pressed together, and she could feel his breath on her skin. A small part of her felt guilty, because she knew Imra was still in love with Mon-El - whether or not he felt the same about her. And she knew how hard it was to be apart from someone you loved. But a stronger, more determined voice told her that this was meant to be. That Imra had kept them apart long enough, and that it was time for Kara to think about herself, just a little.

Kara knew that she had been the best version of herself when she was with Mon-El. She had been the most hopeful, the most honest with herself, and the happiest she had ever been when they were together. Of course it would be slightly different this time, because they had both been through so much and they were different people now. But she could tell that they were going to better than before. Because now they had been through hell, and they had persisted and come out on top.

Staring at Mon-El's relaxed and sleeping face, Kara realized something; she felt whole again. After months of trying to fill the gaping hole in her chest - trying to deny it was there, trying to fill it up with other things, trying everything she could to be herself again - she had finally filled it. Mon-El was the only one who could fill that emptiness he had left behind, apparently.

Then, as much as she wanted to keep staring at his beautiful face, she started to feel sleep tugging at her consciousness. But she was not scared of falling asleep tonight, because she knew she had Mon-El beside her. She wasn't scared of her dreams anymore, because he was right there with her. And for the first time in eight months, she fell into a peaceful sleep.

~The End.


End file.
